The beginning.

Okay soooooo!! I am getting back in exercise and well I want to kind of document it.. I am not looking to lose weight, I am looking to tone up, gain some muscle and a healthier lifestyle!

So currently I weigh 76kgs.. Which is the right weight for my height! Which is 180cm :3 I just wanna be able to wear a bikini and not feel like bleghar.

Happy belated valentines day.

I got really lazy and tired over the weekend.. I wanted to post about valentines day.. There are alot of haters on valentines which prompt me to call it vagina day because of all the whiners whining about how their alone or how commercialize it is. I also called it vagina day because some dudes, I mean quite a few were getting laaaaaaid, but yes.. I really should say to those who bitch at people for doing something on valentines day, pipe the fuck down! I mean come on! It has nothing to do with you how a couple spends their valentines! Whether thu do something simple or something huge!! It could be a very special occasion to them. You don't know that, so don't bag on them!!!! Assholes. Now this is what I think of valentines day, valentines day isn't just about that special someone you have found, it is also about the love you have for the people who were there with you before that, yours friends and your family.. This is why I wish everyone a happy valentines day. And if you do not have a valentines for that day, don't panic because your friend probably doesn't have one either.. So share the love with your friends :3

My valentines day was greeeeaaatt at night, during the day I had to woooork Blegh! Hahaha I got flowers and a boofles and Choclates :D and went to the blue duck for dinner. We also plate the old couple new couple game. Ill explain that later.

In pain.

Well my mom is okay... But she can barely walk.. She had to have some surgery.. They opened up her cervix to take two samples and do a D&C. I have had to do everything around the house because my father is completely helpless due to stress....

I having working myself dead. I feel as though my back is broken.. But it doesn't seem to bother me.

What bothers me is that the two people I thought would check on me, did not. Not one bit after I told them. I am a little disappointed.. Though i shouldnt be, people have problems of their own, their own lives. But maybe it is a female thing to badger someone until they are positive that they are okay. But then again.. My ex boyfriend Den, has checked on me more often then not and my dear friend Micha has too, trying his best to put a smile on my face.. And Joze has been at my side at every moment as well as Claire. So I don't understand? I guess lives just get busy? As they say, out of sight, out of mind.

I do hope that mothers samples are nothing bad and that she gets well... I had to bribe her to stay home an not attempt to drive to work *sigh* yaaaaaaay...

I am tired.

I am spread thin.

Peace and understanding.

Why?

My mother is going to hospital this evening, so that she may get the growths on her uterus biopsy'd... As the doctors are very concerned that this is early stage of cancer....

I am a wreck... I am scared..

I don't want to lose my mommy.

I can't live without her.

Sad again.

I don't know why but I feel sad... Well actually I do but it wouldn't make sense to you. Some just expect me to be happy and get huffy when I can't snap into a good mood, others just don't understand or don't care. It's frustrating... I would drop eveything to help someone with their problem, busy or not. Why can't you give me the same courtesy that I have you? But that is not how it works I guess... "Treat others as you wish to be treated." Guess they didn't get the memo.

Would I be missed if I left? Perhaps a month or so.. But is all I can guess, I can't see the future.. Though I wish I could as I am tired of seeing the past.

On another note not only am I addicted to my little pony, I am also addicted to adventure time, but more the gender swap. :) I really want to get the fionna plush.